“I was born blue, with umbilical cord tightly wrapped around my neck. That was education enough.”

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Childhood

I was the first son of the eldest son of the family. Big, bloody deal in 1976. Like most of us, undeniably I was an accident, which universe tried to make right quite a few times as years went by. Broken bones, coma and cracked head all before the age 7. It was like I was in a rush to return the gift of life. By the time I was 3 another accident led to my younger brother and then just the next year my youngest one. Having 2 younger siblings in a joint family meant that my mother couldn’t give a fuck about my whereabouts, she was too busy breast feeding one and wiping ass of the other. I now belonged to the entire family and to no one. It was Amritsar, a city of refugees. I was one too, in my own house, with no fixed corner in the house that I could call my own. It was perfect!

Teenage

By the time I turned 14, we had moved 4 cities, changed 5 schools, broken a few more bones, could ride a scooter and drive a car. Loved (or so I thought) and lost without ever expressing it, discovered the wonders of shagging, won every sporting award I could participate in, picked up smoking, had an utterly broken relationship with my parents, had multiple failed attempts of running away from home, had my first sexual abuse, kissed a girl and most importantly realised that I do not have a support system.

20s through 30s

Mumbai, Germany, Bangalore, Pune, Delhi. Learnt all about human psychology by selling holidays to families who couldn’t/shouldn’t afford them. Meeting around 5 families a day for a period of 6 months was more than any intensive course in psychology. My realization that I could relate to people began there. What followed was one bungee jump to another, from one career path to another without the fear of the unknown. From Marketing to Branding to Furniture Design, I heard every call of my heart and lived to tell the tale.

30s till date

Marriage, Kids, Divorce, Love, Yoga. Married at age 30, two beautiful girls by age 35, an envious address in the heart of Delhi. Materialistically. a wonderful life. Or so it seemed. Sometimes the price you have to pay to accept lack of love is way higher than the material rewards. Gathered enough courage to make room for love. Moved out of a loveless marriage with just my clothes. Still a dedicated and loving father and having a peaceful co existence with my ex. Found and lost love multiple times with the same person! Yoga found me and validated all my observations about human existence and gave me physical and mental strength to know that only I can define my life.

All rights reserved, Rajiev Lal 2020.

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